


With Love, Also Comes Hurt

by tsumumi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Break Up Talk, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Past Relationship(s), Pro Volleyball Player Miya Atsumu, Pro Volleyball Player Sakusa Kiyoomi, SakuAtsu, i love atsumu, implied atsukita
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:34:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27625483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsumumi/pseuds/tsumumi
Summary: The first thing Atsumu unsubconsciously did when he woke up that morning, was to look behind him at the person who was supposed to be there, lying right next to him. Instead when he looked over, there was nothing but a pillow, then he remembered.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 33





	With Love, Also Comes Hurt

The thing Atsumu immediately did when he woke up that morning, was to look behind him at the person who was supposed to be there, lying right next to him. Instead when he looked over, there was nothing but a pillow, then he remembered. Atsumu inhaled and smelt old wood, a smell that he recognized, as he took in the scenery. It was a small room to say the least. Everything tight and organized for the most part. To his left was an empty space waiting to be filled by someone. Everything looked too familiar to Atsumu. He sat up and observed the room. The wooden nightstand that stayed near the bed with a glass of water, an inhaler, and other miscellaneous items placed onto the surface. The way that the bed just sat in front of the door with a few feet in between, so the door just barely missed the bed when opened. White walls with different posters hung all around the tiny room. A dresser with a mirror that had many types of hair styling products, and old photos that were taken with a dollar store camera. The room was very small and could only fit a bed, a dresser, a nightstand, and maybe a chair. (When I tell you it's a small room, that means it's fucking small. A twenty three year old, 6'1, professional volleyball player would definitely have trouble moving around). Atsumu flopped back down on his back, pulling the covers over him. Looking up, he saw an old worn out ceiling.

This room felt so comforting, yet melancholy. There was a familiar feel to the room he was in. Of course it all felt so nostalgic, it was the room he lived in for eighteen years of his life.

Atsumu doesn't bother checking his phone. It would drain his mental energy anyway.

After ten minutes of him just thinking, Atsumu sat up and took a glance at the clock that was hung up crooked on his wall.

9:00.

Getting up, Atsumu felt incredibly dizzy and noticed he had a migraine. He took a few steps forward and landed in front of his mirror. He looked tired. Not horrible, not gorgeous, definitely not aesthetically pleasing, just exhausted. Atsumu decided not to fix his messy bed head and groaned. Out of the corner of his eye, Atsumu noticed an object. An old dying flower, lying on top of the mirror frame. Atsumu picked up the wilted flower and smiled.

"Hey Kita, 'm sorry 'm late, how long have ya been waitin' fer me?" Atsumu rubbed the back of his neck.

"Not long, it's alright." Kita smiled.

"Oh, I uh, I got ya flowers Kita-san." Atsumu looked away blushing.

"Thank you Atsumu." Shinsuke gently took the flowers out of Atsumu's hands. "I also got you a flower as well Atsumu."

Kita held out a small, beautiful purple flower. One that Atsumu had never seen before. Atsumu took the flower, graciously.

"Thank ya Kita-san." Atsumu gave him a soft smile.

It was Atsumu's first date. He was a nervous mess. The night before he was frantically running around his room deciding what outfit looks best on him. Atsumu changed into an outfit, ran to his twin brother's room, and asked "how do I look?" and every time Osamu would shake his head and turn back to reading his manga. It was Atsumu's first date, so you couldn't blame him for being anxious. He had never been on a date before, and it was with someone he liked, so that only strikes up more nerves.

Atsumu never had any luck with romance every since he was kid. There was one girl he liked in primary school, but the girl only told Atsumu that he was a jerk then left. When they were younger, the the twins went in a more conservative school. The twins never stood out that much, that was until high school came around. During summer both of the twins looks changed a fair amount. They're facial structures were far more matured, they both learned how to style their hair (not necessarily good), and they got significantly more built. They had puberty to blame for all of that. Once the twins started high school, they got confessed to almost all the time. Random girls that Atsumu had never even seen before, were suddenly appearing in front of him with a box of chocolates, begging for him to date them. Every single confession Atsumu received, he declined, except one girl in his first year.

It was Atsumu first day of high school. Since he never really had any friends before except Osamu, he wasn't sure what group he fell into. The first day of school this girl came up to Atsumu and told him he was attractive and asked for his number. Since it was Atsumu's first day he decided to accept and give the girl his number. They started texting and after a week of on-going flirting, the girl was quick to abandon Atsumu.

One day after the girl had been ignoring Atsumu's texts he just decided to ask her why. He walked up to her.

"Why have ya been ignorin' me?" Atsumu looked deadpan.

The girl looked up at him. "Can't you get a hint?"

Atsumu stared at her confused.

"Ugh, okay listen." She put her hands on her hips, "The only reason I actually talked to you that day is because you're really hot, but I never signed up for a clingy annoying brat, who never shut's the fuck up."

_Ouch._

Atsumu wasn't sure how to react to that. He just walked away trying to ignore the immense pain in his chest.

After that Atsumu wasn't interested in dating anyone. He didn't want to experience that horrible feeling he felt that day, ever again. So he didn't try. Not with friendships, not with relationships, not even with people in general. It's not like Atsumu was liked in the first place anyway, almost everyone who had a mere conversation with Atsumu hated him. Atsumu annoyed his friends, who were friends with him because they were friends with Osamu, when his teachers scolded him he just turned his head, he yelled and cursed and knew that everyone hated him. He stopped caring about what other people thought of him, although somewhere deep down, he'll always know he cares way more than he should. He wasn't sure if he was aware he was even doing it at the time, he closed himself off. Atsumu put a front to avoid getting hurt in the end. Sure he's always been annoying and somewhat of a brat, but he just couldn't help being even worse after that incident. Since Atsumu was hated by many of his classmates, no one even tried to become his friend. He didn't want to admit it but sometimes, when someone told Atsumu he was being clingy or annoying, that comment that girl made always came back and hit him. 

Atsumu was always disliked. He didn't do it on purpose, it's just the way he is. His actions and his words hurt people, so know one voluntarily hung out with him. The only people that he could consider "friends" were kids who hung out with Osamu. They were a package deal. You hang out with Osamu, you get Atsumu as well.

Atsumu hadn't even thought of dating until his second year of high school, when someone showed up in his life. Shinsuke Kita. Captain of the volleyball club. Shinsuke had always been in the volleyball club all three years of his high school career. When Atsumu first joined the club, he immediately felt an overwhelming amount of respect for Shinsuke. Atsumu thought of Shinsuke like he was a person he would never be able to touch. Shinsuke was someone he admired and who Atsumu looked up to. He never once thought he deserved to be the one to hold Shinsuke's hand.

In the start of Atsumu's second year the volleyball club coach decided on the new team captain, it was no other than Shinsuke Kita. Atsumu was satisfied with it as well. There was no other person he thought deserved the spot. Atsumu was just about to congratulate the new captain, but as soon as he turned his way, Shinsuke had tears streaming down his face. Atsumu felt his heart physically snap in two. He had wondered why Shinsuke was crying? He just became the new captain of the volleyball claim, had he not? Then Atsumu remembered. Shinsuke had never evenbeen in official game before, let alone gotten a jersey. Atsumu wanted nothing more than to run up and wrap his arms around his upperclassman but he knew is he did, Shinsuke would probably be overwhelmed. So he sat back with his twin, fighting the urge to comfort Shinsuke.

One day when the suns ray shined brighter than most, Atsumu had been requested to help clean with Shinsuke. He accepted.

"Kita-san, what should I do?" Atsumu stood in the doorway to the gym.

"Oh Atsumu," Shinsuke stopped what he was doing. "If ya could sweep the floor with me that would be great."

Atsumu picked up a broom that was resting on the wall, and joined his captain. They cleaned in comfortable silence, but Atsumu's head was racing. Atsumu stopped sweeping.

"I like you."

Silence.

Shinsuke then replied and kept sweeping. "Is that so?"

"Ya." Atsumu resumed his cleaning. 

"How long?"

Silence fell between them once again, before Atsumu spoke up.

"Well I never realized it till this year but, I reckon I always sorta liked ya, but just didn't think of it as kinda a crush ya know?"

"Oh." Kita kept sweeping.

"So, um haha, uh-"

"Atsumu, would you like to go out with me?"

Atsumu stopped dead in his tracks. "Wait what? No wait yes, I mean yes." Atsumu had a confused look on his face. "Wait Kita-san are ya for real?"

"Why would I ask if I were lying." Kita said not in a rude tone, but in a soft one.

Atsumu's confused expression, then turned into a smile. "Yes I would love to go out with ya Kita-san."

"Tsumu, get yer lazy ass down here!"

Atsumu snapped out of his thoughts.

"Yeah 'm comin' Samu!" Atsumu put down the flower carefully, then opened the door to meet his twin brother in the kitchen.

Ever since Atsumu was born he's always lived with his family in that home. The twins mother and father both had steady jobs so they had a fairly okay life. They didn't come from lots of money but they had a roof over their heads, food they could come home too, and good parents. They lived in a small house in the country, which Atsumu always enjoyed. He liked his room though there wasn't much room to move around in. He liked how from his window he used to see fields of rice grow over the years.

Atsumu walked down the stairs which were very close to his door, and very tiredly dragged his feet till he made it to the kitchen.

The kitchen is relatively small but very clean and organized. They are plants that sit on the windowsill to give the room a bright look. The kitchen is just a tab bit small. When Atsumu was younger, one day after he was being called down for dinner, he slid into the kitchen with fuzzy socks but unfortunately couldn't stop himself in time before he ran into the wall extremely hard. Atsumu ended up getting an concussion and a broken arm and Osamu never let Atsumu live it down. Osamu made fun of him for weeks on end about it.

"Yer' lazy ass is finally up." Osamu sets two plates down on the kitchen table. "Ya look like a mess though."

"Gee thanks, my heads killin' me." Atsumu rubs his temples as he grabs a mug and pours coffee into it.

Osamu takes a seat at the table as Atsumu adds creamer and sugar to his coffee.

"Tsumu thats fuckin nasty, you put six spoon fulls of sugar, milk, and creamer to yer coffee." Osamu looked at him disgusted. "Who does that?"

"Black coffee's even worse!" Atsumu stirred his coffee, angrily.

Atsumu walked over to the table and took a seat on the chair he had always sat at when he still lived there. The chair squeaked.

The Miya family has had countless meals on this table. Atsumu couldn't even remember how much times him and Osamu fought while sitting in the exact same chairs they were in at that moment. They got scolded every single time they fought at the table during a meal. Whenever that happened the twins parents made them sit in their chairs and be quiet for exactly ten minutes before they could leave. Almost every time the twins couldn't stay quiet. It would go like this. Atsumu looked up at Osamu, Osamu would mouth something like "stupid". Then Atsumu would bang his head down tiredly, on the table which made Osamu laugh. Atsumu would look up and meet his brothers eyes, then they would both burst into laughter. They were rarely ever able to keep quiet during those ten minutes.

"Kita-san called." Osamu doesn't look up as he eats his breakfast.

Ever since everyone went their separate ways after high school, Atsumu didn't keep in much contact with Kita. Atsumu was busy most of the time and Kita had his own life, hence they didn't talk that much. It's not like they were on bad terms. Atsumu stilled loved Kita platonically, and enjoyed every single conversation they had. Atsumu looked up to ever since he met in in high school, so he wouldn't let their old relationship get in the way of things. Osamu on the other hand, saw Kita almost all the time. When rice was out of season Kita still had work to do, just not as much so he often hung out with Osamu. Atsumu was always okay with it too. Sometimes rarely, the three of them hung out, but that was extremely rare.

Atsumu hummed then took a sip of his coffee. The mug read "Atsumu Miya". The twins parents bought Atsumu's merch. "What'd Kita-san want."

"Oh ya know," Osamu looked up with an annoyed expression. "He's worried 'bout ya."

Atsumu protested. "Why's he worried about me? I'm fine!"

"Then explain to me this." Osamu met his brother eyes. "Why are ya here Tsumu?"

Atsumu brings his eyes to look at the floor.

Silence.

Why did Atsumu return? What good reason did he have for coming back to his childhood home? Not a good reason really.

Atsumu often found himself in slumps. Sometimes Atsumu would be completely okay, then out of nowhere a huge wave of depression hit him. Sometimes it's for a couple days, then he feels better. Sometimes it takes him a week before he can feel okay. Rarely, it gets even worse than that. When that happened Atsumu would forget his love for volleyball. He questioned why he still plays, and if he even enjoys the sport anymore.

Atsumu walked into practice every day with a smile on his face and wore a facade. He did have confidence in himself, just not as much as he said he did. It got tiring for Atsumu sometimes. Once and a while when Atsumu felt like breaking down, he would get into these slumps and get very down for days on end. Perhaps putting aside his emotions caused it. Ignoring his mental health, Atsumu made a name for himself on the team. He's loud and gets in others business constantly. Sometimes, just sometimes, Atsumu gets overwhelmed and exhausted and loses himself.

"Ya always come back home when somethin's wrong."

"Yer' point?"

"Can ya leave now?" Osamu scowled.

"I just got here yesterday!" Atsumu yelled in protest, pouting.

"Listen,"

"Oh my god, here ya go again spouting yer Tsumu ya can't keep comin back here after ya lose yerself typa bullshit." Atsumu waved his arms around like a madman as he mocked his younger twin.

"Who's the one that always comes back to their younger twin after they get all depressed." Osamu had an annoyed expression.

"Ya, whatever." Atsumu took a sip of his coffee. "Oh ya see! My coffee's cold now, just great!"

Atsumu got up from his chair and poured his now cold coffee, into the sink.

"That's a waste." Osamu turned back to his food.

"It was cold!" Atsumu started making himself another cup of coffee. "Anyway, what did Kita-san say?"

Osamu took a good look at Atsumu then looks back down at his plate before saying, "He's worried about ya. He said that he doesn't like knowing you're in a fragile state."

"Kita-san is a pretty carin' person ey?" Atsumu leans on the counter, one elbow propping him up and the other holding his mug.

"Yeah n all those time ya were all sad n shit, he was always there. Why not show s'more gratitude?" Osamu stood up from his seat and carried his plate to the sink.

"Yeah yeah." Atsumu slouched into himself and took a long sip of his new coffee.

"Just," Osamu turned towards Atsumu, stopping what he was doing. "I know ya have a tendency ta do this typa stuff but, just bounce back like ya always do 'kay?"

"I know Samu, I will. I always do."

Atsumu would rather die than admit it, but Osamu is one of his favorite people. Ever since they were younger, Osamu had always stood by Atsumu's side. When the other kids told Atsumu how bad he is and that they hate him, Osamu would agree but he would also say something like "The only one who gets to make fun of Tsumu is me." They have been best friends since they were born. Sure they fought and argued, but they always made up in the end. Atsumu really loved his brother, so you could imagine the pain he felt when Osamu decided to quit volleyball.

Atsumu felt betrayed. When Osamu told him that when they're older, he will be the one who looks back at their life and is happy, Atsumu felt a pain in his chest. He knew he wanted to play volleyball. Atsumu loved volleyball, and still does. He thought he would be feeling amazing and in love with volleyball his whole life, but he also knew that it might be to good to be true.

Osamu might be happier with the career he chose, but Atsumu is just as happy with his as well.

Atsumu couldn’t imagine himself doing anything other than playing volleyball. He loved the sport.

"Oh yeah what about Sakusa-san? Does he know yer here?"

Silence.

"Ya had a fight huh." Osamu washed his dish and put it on the rack.

"It was stupid." Atsumu mumbles.

"Yer stupid."

"Aye!"

Osamu sighed. "Tell me what happened."

They both stood in the kitchen as Atsumu explained what happened. Atsumu didn't want to think about what happened that day again. It's been playing through his mind on repeat.

"Tsumu did ya say that was a week ago?" Osamu looked at his brother confused.

"Ya I've been stayin' in my own apartment before I came back." Atsumu had a hand to his forehead.

"Do ya want to go back to him?"

Atsumu looked tired. "Of course I do 'Samu! It's just that, well I don't know, I needed a break."

"Do ya feel better after that break?" Osamu crossed his arms over his front.

"I feel kinda better but fuck," Atsumu ran a hand through his soft, toned hair. "I miss him."

"Then go make up with him dibshit." Osamu slapped Atsumu in the back of the head and made his way out of the kitchen. "And call Kita-san while yer’ at it."

"Yeah I will." Atsumu muttered. He downed the rest of his coffee and washed his mug.

Atsumu ate his breakfast and took a good look around the house before going back in his room.

The living room. There were many pictures of the twins when they were younger, and awards that were sitting in a case. Whenever Atsumu or Osamu won a metal of any kind, their parents had always kept them. Defeats the purpose of "who needs memories?" but Atsumu never minded seeing his awards every time he walked into the family room. In fact he enjoyed the attention he got.

Atsumu walked over to a shelf and picked up a photo. He was around sixteen in the photo. He had one arm around Kita, and the other around Osamu giving a huge smile. Osamu gave a peace sign, and Kita gave a small thoughtful smile. A wave of old feelings came flooding back to him. Nothing had changed, yet everything has.

"Hey Kita! Let's take a photo together!" Atsumu smiled as he waved to his boyfriend at the time.

"Why should we take a photo?" Kita looked at Atsumu confused.

Atsumu's smile still stayed, but hs eyes had a glint of sadness in them that Kita recognized far too well.

"Actually," Kita gave a his boyfriend a warm, sincere smile. "Sure let's take a photo Atsumu."

Atsumu's eyes lit up. It's rare for Atsumu to have a real, genuine smile on his face. That's exactly why Kita had agreed to the photo. He wanted to make the broken Atsumu smile. That was all.

"Hey 'Samu! You join too!" Atsumu pointed directly at his twin.

"It's rude to point." Osamu said while walking towards Kita and Atsumu. He sighed. "Why do I have to be in the picture?"

"Because Samu, I don't know okay! We just won a game and I'm feelin' good alright?" Atsumu said defensively as he pulled out his camera.

"The photo will turn out so well with that one dollar camera." Osamu said sarcastically as he stood near the two of them.

Osamu was correct though. Atsumu bought a dollar store camera so he could take as much pictures as he wanted.

"Shut yer' trap! This is a mighty fine camera, it just happen to be at the dollar tree is all." Atsumu rolled his eyes.

Atsumu spotted his teammate then yelled. "Hey Aran! Would ya mind takin' a photo for us?"

Aran walked up to the group. "Sure, I guess? Why are you guys taking a photo? You're weird."

"Aye! Whatever just take the photo." Atsumu handed the camera to Aran and ran back to the his boyfriend and his twin.

"This is kinda a shitty camera Atsumu." Aran looked into the lens.

"Just take the damn photo!"

After Atsumu had come home, his parents found out about the photo after Osamu bluntly announced it at dinner. His parents insisted on the photo sitting in the living room and in a nice picture frame. Atsumu gave in.

After the feeling was too much, Atsumu put the photo down and walked back up the stairs to his room. The floorboards creaked as he walked.

The house could definitely use some improvement. It wasn't a bad house or anything, just old and had a sort of old fashion feel to it. The metal doorknob Atsumu twisted to go into his room, made it clear that it was an old house.

Atsumu always liked their house, even if his room was barely the size of a celebrity's walk in closet. It always comforted Atsumu having a small room. He didn't need a big one anyway. Osamu had his own room, and it was easier to keep tidy if the room was small, and that meant it would look cool putting up posters and hanging random objects around his room.

Atsumu walked in and sat on his bed. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his phone and was very tempted to open it, but decided it would just make him more drained. Atsumu took a quick shower and looked a bit more decent.

He walked over the his dresser and opened the drawer. Almost all of the clothes in this wardrobe were way too small for him. Atsumu knew he had gained more muscles so he didn't even attempt trying the clothes on. Instead he grabbed a big grey hoodie that teenage Atsumu had worn to sleep every night. Atsumu thanked his younger self for having at least one pair of oversized clothes, then slipped it on over his head. He looked for pants that would fit him, but there just weren't any. His legs had gotten way more thicker, than they were before.

In his boxers, Atsumu flung open his door, jogged down the stairs, and found himself in front of his brothers room.

"Hey 'Samu, give me a pair of pants will ya?" Atsumu banged on Osamu's door. "I can't fit into my old ones."

Osamu opened the door and wore a disgusted expression as he saw Atsumu. "Put on pants, will ya?" 

The door closed.

"That's what I'm trying to do!" Atsumu banged on the door. "Samu, let me barrow somthin' please?" Atsumu stretched out the e on the word please.

"You never return my shit 'Tsumu."

"I'll give them back this time, promise ya. Just please gimme a pair of slacks." Atsumu wined.

After a couple of seconds there was a sound on the other side of the door, and Atsumu could see the doorknob moving. Osamu opened the door and threw a pair of dark blue jeans right at Atsumu's face before shutting the door only to reopen it again.

"You better make up with Sakusa-san, yer' gettin real annoyin" Osamu slammed the door.

"You don't even live here! You have yer' own apartment!" Atsumu moved his hands around even though no one was watching.

"Well I come back sometimes, so just make up with Sakusa-san." Atsumu heard Osamu throw something at the closed door. "It annoys me when yer' lookin all sad like that."

"Samu yer so nice!"

"Leave!"

Atsumu chuckled and made his way back to his room.

After getting dressed Atsumu had remembered something. Osamu didn't do volleyball, which meant the pants wouldn't fit Atsumu perfectly.

He looked in the mirror. He the blue jeans hugged around his legs a little too tight. He looked like he accidentally bought them a size too small.

He groaned.

Atsumu looked in the mirror and felt melancholy. He and brushed through his hair with his hand, and left his appearance alone. Atsumu grabbed his keys and his phone, and he was out the door. Atsumu almost walked out of the house then turned around.

"Hey 'Samu!" Atsumu yelled into the house.

"Yeah 'Tsumu?" Osamu appeared at the call of his name.

"Don't ya have work right now?"

Osamu always left for work early. Atsumu knew this. He basically memorized his twins schedule. It wasn't like Osamu had anything going on in his day either, he worked at his Onigiri shop, or he hung out with Kita or Suna.

"I told one of my employee's to cover for me this mornin" Osamu shrugged. "I was just tired."

"Don't lie to me 'Samu." Atsumu rested his hands on his hips.

"Look Atsumu, you're clearly in a bad-"

"Samu I'm fine! You didn't have to take the morning off."

"Tsumu shut the fuck up for one second." Osamu sighed.

Sometimes it got like this. Atsumu would be in a bad place mentally, then Osamu would take time out of his schedule to make sure Atsumu was okay. Even though he wasn't good at showing it, Osamu cared for Atsumu. He never said it often, but he don't have to. His actions already did it.

"Listen 'Tsumu," Osamu went on. "Ya get fucked up sometimes, we all do. But I know you Tsumu, I care about ya and I know how bad it can get. So I called in and asked an employee to take the morning shift, so what?"

Atsumu was in a sort of fragile stage of mind, so all he did was just wrap his arms around his brother.

"Tsumu, get off of me." Osamu stood still.

"No." Atsumu kept his arms around the younger twin.

"Fine." Osamu gave in and tapped his arms around Atsumu. "Just, call me before it gets bad again."

"Yeah I'll do that."

Osamu wiggled. "Kay now let go, I have to go to work."

Atsumu let go of his twin, and they both said their goodbyes before Osamu left the house.

After a few minutes of checking his phone, Atsumu opened the front door, locked it from behind him, and sat down on the porch. He opened his phone and found himself staring at a name is his contacts.

Kita.

Atsumu clicked on his name.

_Ring ring._

"Hello?"

"Ah Kita-san, it's Atsumu."

"Oh Atsumu, are you doing well?"

Atsumu bit the inside of his lip. "Yeah 'm doing just fine Kita-san, what about yerself?"

"Atsumu, Osamu told me, don't lie."

Atsumu sighed. He knew that was gonna happen. At least he tried.

"Yeah I guess I haven't been doin' the best lately." Atsumu ran a hand through his hair.

"Atsumu, do you remember what I told you way back in high school?"

Atsumu does remember. Too well in fact, he always remembers what Kita said back in high school. It keeps him going, and snaps him out of his fragile state. The saying was said many times and it was very cliche, but that's what Atsumu liked about it.

"Kita-san,"

It was after one of their official games, and everyone was tired. Inarizaki had lost. Atsumu felt like he could have done better. So much better in fact. He had fucked up and it was too late to fix it. If only he'd been faster to hit that ball. If only he'd tossed the ball with just a little bit more strength. If only he'd-

"The only way to achieve success is by believing you can achieve your goals, no matter what. The story you tell has the yourself has the power to transform your life or destroy it. When you change your story, you change your life."

Atsumu almost on the verge of tears, looked up his caption. "Huh?"

Kita put a hand on Atsumu's shoulder. "You did well Atsumu."

Atsumu gripped the phone and recited the saying.

"Atsumu, I know ya know that you're great at what you do. I know you're great at what you do. I know you have a love for volleyball that runs deep, so don't give up on that."

"Hey Kita-san?"

"Yes Atsumu?"

Atsumu chuckled then softly said, "Thank ya for always bringin' some sense back into me."

"You're good at what you do, and I look forward to seeing where you go in life."

Shinsuke didn't realize it, but every single word that he spoke, meant the world to Atsumu. Not because Atsumu still loved him that way, not because he still had feelings for Shinsuke. Simply because Shinsuke was the one person Atsumu looked up to, more than anyone. He would always respect Shinsuke, and always thought to himself, "what would Kita-san do in this situation?"

"Bye Atsumu, I'm going to visit Osamu soon, perhaps we'll see each other soon."

Atsumu smiled even though no one was watching. "I'll look forward to that. See ya Kita-san."

The call ended. Atsumu sat on the porch and thought for some time. He appreciated Shinsuke more than he would ever know. Even after what happened, he still takes his time to check up on Atsumu. Shinsuke's words meant so much to Atsumu, because he knew Shinsuke never lied. His words were what he believed, not what he thought would be best to say.

Atsumu and Shinsuke were in the gym after practice was done. They were cleaning up after a rough day of practice.

"Atsumu." Shinsuke took down the volleyball net.

"Kita-san I know I did horrible today alright but just-"

"Atsumu don't say that."

"What Shinsuke? You're just gonna say the same thing you say every time, aren't ya!" Atsumu knew he should be taking out his anger on his boyfriend, but in truth, their relationship was falling apart.

Atsumu would have these breakdowns, and snap at people for his own problems, and Shinsuke tried to help with it. To Atsumu it felt like Shinsuke was trying to fix him. Although, Atsumu didn't want to be fixed. He didn't need that, and didn't like it.

"I'm trying to help." Kita stopped his cleaning and looked Atsumu straight in the eyes.

"No you're not trying to help!"

Silence.

"Shinsuke why are ya dating me?"

"You remind me of a lost puppy Atsumu."

"What does that-"

Kita cut him off. "You lose yourself and your way, so people have to help you."

"I don't wanna be helped Shinsuke!"

"Do you want to break up?" Shinsuke just stared into his boyfriends eyes.

"It's like," Atsumu ignored the question. "Ya keep trying to change me."

"Isn't that a good thing."

Ouch. Atsumu took it the wrong way. People can't change people but Shinsuke could try. Although Atsumu, didn't want to be changed. Shinsuke didn't mean for it to sound like Atsumu was a bad person. He didn't want it to come out that way, he just wanted to help Atsumu. You can't change someone who doesn't want to be changed.

"I want to break up." Atsumu blurts out.

Silence.

"Okay." Shinsuke resumed cleaning.

"Just like that?" Atsumu looked at his now ex boyfriend, confused. "Yer' gonna give up on us that easily?"

"You said you want to break up."

"Oh my god, just like that?"

"Yes."

"Fine, we're done, good bye Kita." Atsumu grabbed his bag that was sitting on the floor, and left.

After Atsumu apologized many times years later, and Shinsuke always said it's all right, they're on nice terms. They still talk like they're friends when they hang out, and Shinsuke helps Atsumu when he's down, because he's the only person Atsumu would listen to.

Atsumu sat up from his sitting position, and walked to his car. He knew exactly where to go next.

Onigiri Miya. Aka the place where he had his first date with Kiyoomi Sakusa.

Atsumu's heart skipped a beat the moment Kiyoomi walked into the Msby Black Jackals tryouts.

Atsumu had recognized Kiyoomi from high school when they both went to the same training camp. They talked a little, but it was mostly bickering. Atsumu noticed that Kiyoomi stayed away from most people.

In high school their teams played a game against each other.

Inarizaki versus Itachiyama. Inaraizaki lost.

Atsumu had taken an interest in the ace of the other team, but didn't think he would ever see him again. Till Kiyoomi was standing in the gym, ready to try out.

"Itachiyama's ace!" Atsumu pointed at Kiyoomi, who was stretching.

"It's rude to point." Kiyoomi looked up. "Miya Atsumu, I beat you in high school."

"Aye! Don't get all cocky now." Atsumu eyes the male who was sitting on the ground in front of him, stretching. Atsumu noticed that his hair wasn't as long as it used to be and he had gotten significantly more attractive. Not like he wasn't attractive before, but you could tell he took more care of his appearance.

Kiyoomi stood up and Atsumu walked closer.

"Get away from me." Kiyoomi said tiredly.

"I didn't even do anything!" Atsumu put his hand to his chin. "Oh are ya still afraid of germs? That's it!"

"No." Kiyoomi walked away. "You're just annoying."

Atsumu felt his heart flutter. Oh no.

"Nah, ya love me Omi-kun!" Atsumu trailed behind Kiyoomi.

"Don't call me that."

"Don't lie, ya love the name."

"Shut up."

After a couple weeks of noticeable sexual tension between the two, one of them confessed.

After practice Atsumu always walked home with Kiyoomi, it was just a normal thing they did. When they got to the Msby apartment building, before they went separate ways, Kiyoomi stopped.

"I like you."

Silence.

“Wait, you’re for real?” Atsumu stopped dead in his tracks, as he turned toward Kiyoomi.

“Yes.”

“Wait,” Atsumu looked at him confused. “Why?”

“Do you not like me back?”

“No! No no no no no, that’s not it.” Atsumu put his palms up and waved them. “Just well, why me?”

“Do I need a reason?” Kiyoomi strayed into Atsumu’s eyes, blush creeping up his cheeks.

_Bump bump_. Atsumu’s heart fluttered.

“I like ya too Omi-kun.” Atsumu smiled. “But ya actually like me? Like yer’ not kidding?!?”

"Yes I like you, now be quiet before you wake everyone up.”

Atsumu felt like he could cry.

"Omi-kun-“

"I don't lie Miya." Atsumu could see the blush come out from under his mask.

Atsumu stood there, a bit awkward.

"Oh my god Miya."

Kiyoomi walked up to Atsumu, pulled down his mask, and landed a kiss right on Atsumu's lips.

"Omi-kun!" Atsumu gasped. "You pervert!"

Kiyoomi turned around and walked away.

"Nooo! It was a joke!" Atsumu chuckled as he caught up to Kiyoomi.

"Seriously though, I really like ya." Atsumu blushed.

Kiyoomi just smiled.

Atsumu parked in front of Onigiri Miya. Reliving his first date by himself wasn't something Atsumu planned on doing that day. He walked into the shop.

"Tsumu why the fuck are 'ya here?"

Osamu was standing behind the counter, making onigiri.

"What? I can't go to a local restaurant now!" Atsumu sat down on the stool that was in front of the counter.

"Why are 'ya here Tsumu?" Osamu sighed. "We just saw each other at the house."

"I'm not here for 'ya 'Samu!" Atsumu lowered his head down on the counter. "I called Kita-san."

"Good asshole, he's been puttin' up with yer' shit for a while now."

"Hey, do ya remember when I had my first date here with Omi-kun?"

"Tsumu, just make up with him already." Osamu was visibly annoyed.

"It's not that easy Samu." Atsumu groaned.

"Just go 'Tsumu"

Atsumu stayed silent.

"Tsumu."

"Fine!"

Osamu smirked then flicked his brother across the head.

"Hey! I'm goin' I'm goin" Atsumu walked out of the restaurant.

Atsumu had thought about what he wanted to do with the Kiyoomi situation. He just wasn't sure how to approach it.

He drove to the Msby apartment complex, as that scene replayed in his head.

"Atsumu, wait hold on." Kiyoomi brought out a hand to touch Atsumu.

"What Kiyoomi?" Atsumu sighed. "I'm just gonna say what we've both been thinking. We can't agree on anything."

"How did it get like this." Kiyoomi pulled away.

"I don't know." Atsumu ran a hand through his hair. "I think, I think I need a break. I think we need a break."

It hurt Atsumu so much to say this, but he had no choice.

"So you're leaving?" Kiyoomi looked up. Atsumu could see the sadness yet anger in his eyes.

"Babe I'm not leaving you, I could never leave you. It's just, we've been fighting so much lately. Maybe we need a break."

Kiyoomi didn't seem surprised with that. He knew that at the rate they were going, they were gonna break up soon.

"Fine."

And with that, they took a break.

The two of them had a steady, affectionate relationship but somewhere along the line, they started to disagree about everything. From what they spent money on, to where you put the dishes. The fights would usually go like this. Either of them would suggest or do something, then the other would say they didn't want it that way, then they started arguing and it always ended with Atsumu sleeping on the coach.

Their relationship wasn't perfect. So that's why Atsumu left for a while. He noticed how unstable and on edge he had been in the past week, and he knew Kiyoomi didn't deserve to be with someone who constantly argued with him. He wanted to be better for Kiyoomi, but to do that, he had to get away from him. Only for a bit.

Atsumu got to the apartment complex and sat in his car. It was too late to turn back plus, what should he be afraid of?

Atsumu walked down the sidewalk till he found Kiyoomi's apartment number. He walked up the stairs and stopped in front of the door.

Just as Atsumu was about to knock, then hesitated. Thoughts raced his mind. What if Kiyoomi got over him? What if Kiyoomi was sick of him and wanted nothing thing to do with him anymore? What if Kiyoomi-

Knock knock.

In a very agitated tone, someone opened the door. "What."

Atsumu could see the other males eyes widen.

"Hey Omi-kun, long time no see." Atsumu smiled.

Kiyoomi sighed then smiled slightly. "Come in."

Atsumu took off his shoes and washed his hands before sitting down on the coach.

"Atsumu, what was all that about?" Kiyoomi handed him a cup of tea. "And don't even lie, why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well?"

"Heh well, I thought I could get through it in my own ya' know?" Atsumu took a sip of his tea. "I knew it was my fault we were fightin' Omi-kun. I started feelin' restless again and I knew I shouldn't be takin' it out on you, so I left. I needed to fix whatever was goin' on with me before I could treat ya' right."

"Atsumu I understand, but why didn't you tell me?"

"I can't depend on ya' all the time Omi-kun. Ya always help me, and I figured I should try and fix the problem myself for a change. I shouldn’t be puttin' ya' through that." Atsumu looked down at his cup.

Kiyoomi wrapped his arms around Atsumu. Atsumu wanted to stay like that forever.

"That's what partners are for dummy." Kiyoomi whispered. "I'm here, I'm always gonna help you. Lean on me Atsumu, and I can lean on you too."

Atsumu set his cup down in the coffee table, and hugged his boyfriend. "I love ya Omi-kun."

"I love you too Atsumu." Kiyoomi pulled away and smiled at Atsumu.

Atsumu felt himself tearing up, and put his arms around his boyfriend once again, not wanting to be apart from him ever again. "Let's never take a break again."

Atsumu chuckled. “For ya? I’d do anything.”

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this before then I realized there were so many errors so I’m just posting it again.  
> SakuAtsu brain rot 24/7.


End file.
